?

Log in

Previous Entry | Next Entry

Todd Richards Intro Post

 We hear a lot about Todd Richards but let's get to know the man behind the..microphone.

He snowboards. He skates. He surfs. He's an all around bad ass. 



 







 
 
Name: Brandt Todd Richards (according to Facebook)
Age: OLD, JK, he's said he's ancient so I'm just going based off that. Born in '69.
Fun Facts:
-Was on the first snowboarding team in the Nagano Winter Olympic Games for the United States
-He started his own snowboard company called O-Matic with Tara Dakides and Andreas Wiig in the 2006-2007 season.
-He hosts a bunch of shows for MTV and also is a commentator for a number of different contests. 
-He's BFF with Louie Vito 
-He's obsessed with Apple.
-He's SUPER funny.

Todd Richards, according to Todd Richards:

What makes you tingle?:

TR: Glassy mornings with waves and powder mornings with back lit snow crystals everywhere.

What makes you cross-eyed pissed?

People that think the left lane on the highway is a destination. 'If I can only make it to the left lane ill be cool and go 5 under the limit".

Are you a good dancer? What is your favorite move?

Oh man I have this one move guaranteed to get your eye dotted in a heartbeat, you come up behind someone on the dance floor, you pull up your shirt and then whip it over their head so that the back of their head makes contact with your sweaty chest, then you maybe let out some kind of yeooooowwww sound and shake your money maker. They then freak out and you prepare for a sock to the eyeball.
Would you rather have a functioning butt hole on your forehead or male genitalia for all your fingers?

I answer that with a question, would the male genitalia randomly get erect at any old time? Also, would the butt hole be poo-ing all the time? I think I would go with the butt hole, then I could just like put duct tape over it or something. Think about how hard it would be to text with penis fingers? I have a hard enough time with my sausage fingers.




He also has a column type thing with YoBeat.com and it's absolutely hilarious and should read all of them when you get a chance.

Some snippets from High Fives with Todd Richards:

Are there any pro-snowboarder virgins? What pro has taken the most V-cards?

Is the Grenade RV considered a pro? I always wanted Danny to make a sticker that said, “I misplaced my virginity in the Grenade RV at the US Open.

Are you going to kill the Tiny Dancer for not getting a medal?

Don’t even say that. This may be the first time I have ever given a serious answer but I know exactly where he is at mentally. Working so hard to get to something and thinking you failed. It’s not a nice place to be mentally.
(So sweet.)

Who were you most impressed with in the Halfpipe thing?

I thought Lago rode soo well. I kind of think Peetu got hooked up in the score department. That silver is Lagos.
(Oh, snap.)

----


Todd's thoughts on KP's injury and ABC's coverage of it and snowboarding.

After Kevin Pearce slammed in Park City the media jumped all over the story because, well, they had something to talk about. While we send our best wishes to Kevin no real snowboarder will say, “Oh shit, we better ban that damn double twisty.” Most people aren’t real snowboarders though, including the claimed “expert” Christine Brennan. After ABC came out with a news piece on the crash, and their thoughts on the double twisty Todd blew up in rage, sadness and a hurt mental state. So from Yobeat to ABC, eat it and next time you want an expert avoid Christine Brennan at all cost.

Yobeat: How did the ABC coverage of Kevin Pearce and snowboarding make you feel?

Todd: Hold on while I pull this duck tape off of my taint—pretty much that.

Having had such a critical role in the development of snowboarding were you insulted while watching the coverage?

Well the fact that some woman, who obviously has never said no to a third trip to the buffet, is being hailed as a snowboard authority, well; hold on while I shove white hot bb’s into my pee hole. I felt like that.

Do you think that woman (Christine Brennan) has ever been snowboarding? Seen snowboarding in person? Or even let her (possible) children ride a skateboard?

I would love to ask her what her basis of expertise is. Is it perhaps, standing on a Wii fit board sideways? I suggest stamp collecting or felting and or, just sitting on the couch watching football waiting for your husband to dot your eye. Hold on a sec while I shove fiberglass into my lower eyelids.

Why do you think they interviewed Pat instead of Annie?

Because Pat has an authoritative voice. He also looks into your soul when he talks to you. Hold on while I put lit cigarettes out on my ball bag. I am doing all these things to forget about what this obviously STD riddled woman has said about my sport.

Obviously it’s sad Kevin got slammed, but do you think it was mostly bad luck, or do you think the halfpipe game is getting a little ridiculous?

Obviously there are risks inherent when pushing progression in any sport, except for golf, because, lets be honest, golf is a lazy guy sport. There are kids doing the hot move, other kids want the hot move, they go and try and learn it and get buckled. It’s the way it goes. What about all those kids that got served when trying to learn backside rodeos, cab 450′s on to triple kinks and properly pulled methods? I don’t hear about them. The media covering the tragic accident (that’s just what it was an accident ‘cause Kevin is a wizard on a snowboard) just happens to be a way for the media to cover something that people want to hear about, a young sport with cool people doing flips. It’s the hottest thing since tanya harding kasmashed that other figure skaters knee caps.

----

As a father yourself would you be proud if you laid the seed that created a 19-pound baby?

Todd: High protein diet for sure. I don’t know if proud would be the word I would use. More like, responsible. a woman already goes through hell during child birth. Imagine giving birth to Gary Coleman? Or Louie Vito?

----

He also makes fun of Ryan Sheckler.

Who would get a dinosaur first, Shaun White, Ryan Sheckler, or Arnold Schwartzenegger?

Todd: Oh man, my head hurts from intense thinking. The fact that any of those guys have the funds to clone one as it is makes me jealous. Sheckler would get one first. He is way more urban. Like I could see Shaun getting like a baby mammoth cloned because he is in the cold all the time and they have reddish fur. But Rye guy would get like a T-rex as a puppy, then like bring it home and his mom says, “No way Ryan, you are not bringing that dinosaur into this house.” Then Ryan goes, “Come on mom, I always wanted a dinosaur.” and his mom will go “You are gone way to much who’s going to take care of it?” Sheckle me not will say, “Well when I’m gone my little brother will take care of him.” Then like two episodes later the fucking king of the dinosaurs will be like the size of a pony and fucking eat the whole family. Then Ryan will cry, again.



TL;DR
TODD RICHARDS IS THE FUNNIEST MAN IN THE BIZZ. You can read all of the interviews here.

You can follow him on Twitter. The exchanges between him and Louie Vito are hilarious.


Please let me know if I missed anything or should add anything. I kind of didn't know what to add since he doesn't snowboard very much anymore. But if you want to check out his boarding company, go here.

 
 
 

Comments

( 10 comments — Leave a comment )
buhdderkupp
Oct. 3rd, 2010 11:46 pm (UTC)
Imagine giving birth to Louie vito. LOL


OH, I'm glad I now know more about him because he does seem pretty awesome, and his board company definitely made the pretty board in the Olympics.
oh_katy
Oct. 3rd, 2010 11:58 pm (UTC)
HE HAS A BOARD COMPANY?

He needs to make goggles now.
buhdderkupp
Oct. 4th, 2010 12:00 am (UTC)
Yeah, it's one of Louie's sponsors!

Made this gorgeous board
oh_katy
Oct. 4th, 2010 12:06 am (UTC)
Get it Tood







(that was a mistake.. that I will not fix)

Edited at 2010-10-04 12:07 am (UTC)
buhdderkupp
Oct. 4th, 2010 12:07 am (UTC)
Right? I'm in love with that board.
jeveuxsavoir
Oct. 4th, 2010 04:42 am (UTC)
That's pretty much my favorite board I've ever seen.
ididthatonce
Oct. 4th, 2010 02:30 am (UTC)
Everything he says cracks me up. Especially the Sheckler thing. and "Hold on while I put hot bb's down my piss hole"
ritalin_kidd
Oct. 4th, 2010 04:26 am (UTC)
TODD. I LOVE YOU. MY IDOL. MY SPIRIT ANIMAL. LETS BE FRAAAAAANDS
jeveuxsavoir
Oct. 4th, 2010 04:42 am (UTC)
I love everything about this post.
scriptophile
Oct. 4th, 2010 01:29 pm (UTC)
I LOVE THIS MAN. HE IS HILARIOUS AND FLAWLESS. THANK YOU FOR INTRODUCING HIM TO ME. <333
( 10 comments — Leave a comment )